21.9.19. Sicily – Ustica to Pedara

Feeling myself again
On the boat from Ustica, Just said good bye to Atit with the bright blue eyes. They are still imprinted in my inner vision. We spend 4 days in the house of Azima and Atit and met for swimming and meditation. Azima and Atit are sannyasins, 1. generation Osho Sannyasins, they were with Osho in Pune 1 and in Oregon and some of the time in Pune 2. They were not together at the time, that meeting happened much later, in Palermo where they both origins from.

3 years ago we enjoyed their amazing company in Copenhagen, where Azima gave a tantra workshop. They invited us to their island Ustica – where they live ½ of the year.
We knew immediately we wanted to go, but it took us 3 years to gain money and space for going there. Ustica is small – so we biked the island a few times on electric bikes (that was fun)while being there. In the evening we were meditating and having dinner with Azima and Atit. This was precious moments for us, to hear the stories of their time with Osho and their life. And to meditate and share the silent space together.

When we left the island after 4 days it felt like we had been bathing in the energy of Osho – the energy was subtle and went much deeper than expected – I didn´t feel it so deep while in it, but on the boat to Palermo, I couldn´t suddenly feel how we have been marinated in the energy of Osho, it penetrated the whole body – and I suddenly felt so grateful and proud of being a sannyas. Like I had come back home again after having been lost part of my strength for while in the turmoil of trying to be me and fit into the world. After being with Atit and Azima I could again feel, that I don´t have to fit in the world, being me is more important.

I knew it but it is soo long since I have been so mirrored in it. Most of the people around me in daily life mirror something else and I mostly feel I am different. Now I was not the different one anymore. I guess that is how I felt the very first time I met Osho people. And I guess I was always a sannyas in my heart even before knowing anything about Osho.